I'm The New One

I gulped. The classroom was only a few feet from me. My legs felt like jelly and my face got all warm. I could see kids moving around in the classroom. Kids my age. I violently shook my head, knowing I couldn’t do this, and ran down the hall, into the bathroom. As soon as I got there, I grabbed onto the sides of the sink. My arms trembled. Why was I so nervous?

C’mon! Get a hold of yourself! I shakily turned on the water. Cupping my hands and filling them with the ice-cold liquid, I splashed it on my face. I heard a gasp come from my own mouth. The water shouldn’t have felt that cold. I brushed that off and looked at myself in the mirror. Did I really belong to this body? I wish I could switch. Switch with the kids who knew they’ve made it in life. That way, I could be happy.

The water dropped off my chin and plopped into the sink. I looked into my own eyes, seeing my own pain. I swatted at the running water to the mirror, causing a large amount of droplets to blur out my face. “Pathetic!” I growled. I turned off the faucet, then turned my back on the mirror and looked at the door. I can’t go back out there. Out where I’m exposed. Able to be laughed at… bullied… tortured…

I slumped into a ball in the corner. The cool feeling of the tile floor slightly calmed my nerves. I closed my eyes and relaxed. Suddenly, past images and events ran through my mind. Being thrown up against a wall, the inability to move my arms, sparkling rubies dripping down my legs as he intrudes, and the evil whispers of, “Now you’ll never forget me, you fucking slut!” My pain gave him pleasure. Whore, Slut, Bitch, I couldn’t look away fast enough. Couldn’t run quick enough. They still got me, he still got me!

My body began to tremble on the bathroom floor. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I was reliving it. I kept my eyes wide open, shocked that all of these torturous memories would come parading through my mind. I wanted to forget! Why can’t I forget?! I saw droplets of water hit the ground. Soft taps on the tile floor. Wait, are those my tears? I wiped my eyes and whimpered lightly. I didn’t want to go through another school year like that. That’s exactly why I switched schools. But I don’t know these people. What if it happens again?!

Even so, no one can be as horrifying of a monster as him. He ruined me, tortured me… and it wasn’t only once, it was multiple times. Sometimes his friends would join in. Soon enough the whole school followed suite. I know that every time his green eyes caught mine in the hallway, I would turn and run only to get grabbed and jerked around. Like some toy! Those red gems flying into the air, his laugh ringing out like a hyena’s. Why didn’t I tell of him sooner?

I heard soft, female voices pass by the bathroom door. My first instinct was to run into a stall and hide. Instead I stood up and walked to the mirror, staring into my red and puffy eyes. “I’m not scared anymore!” I huffed, rubbing them. “You hear me?! I’m not scared anymore!” I looked into my eyes once more. My crystal blue eyes. “I’m safe now…” I fixed my hair and took in a deep breath. “You are safe.” I wanted to believe it. I really did… but my shaky legs and pounding heart made me believe it’d never be true.

Even so, I decided that I should probably get to my class. So I straightened myself out and timidly walked out of the bathroom. I looked around the hall. Still empty. That calmed me a bit, so I quickly went to the door I was at before. I stood on the outside, my hand gripping the handle. My legs felt like jello once again. My face was warm and my heart began to thud heavily against my chest. I could hear kids my age talking, laughing, and moving around. I took in a deep breath and opened the door.

The volume in the room died to a low whisper as I entered. Everyone’s eyes were on me! Everyone was staring at me! Studying me. I gripped the bottom of my sweatshirt and I could feel my legs start to tremble. Why were they all staring at me?! Stop it! Stop staring at me! But they didn’t. I was going to turn around and run back into the bathroom, but then the teacher spoke up.

“Class, this is our new student. Her name is…” I tuned her out. Well, only because a boy, with brown eyes, jumped off his desk and began to walk towards me.

My eyes widened and I backed up against the door. No! No! No! This cannot be happening! Not here! Don’t let him take me! My eyes began to water. I wanted to die. God, take me, please! Soon, he got close enough to touch me. No one else was paying attention. Why weren’t they seeing this?! They had all gone back to their conversations or whatever! But that didn’t matter! His hand slowly came towards me.

“Welcome~!” He laughed, smiling at me. His chocolate brown eyes sparkled as he smiled. His arm was outstretched  into a handshake. I was baffled and my body slightly relaxed. His smile had me trapped. Slowly, I reached out with a shaky hand, taking his in mine. His grip was gentle and warm. I didn’t speak to him though. I didn’t know what to say. He looked me over and let go of my hand. “You are the new student, right?” He asked. Me, giving him no response earlier, must have triggered that question.

His smile and warm eyes caused the corners of my lips to turn up cautiously. My first time smiling in so many years. “Yes.” I said, my voice having a slight amount of confidence in it. “I’m the new one.”