All About MSB (Mouthy Little Kid; Completely True)

(MSB is a friend of mine. He tells a lot of stories and they're all really true and usually really funny. I'm not ever going to mention his real name unless given the permission to do so. His stories will seem fake, but they are completely true.) 

My son. A little kid, got a big mouth on him. He’s a little personal, good wit, he’s a little mouthy. He gets it from his mom. So in this story he was about six or seven. We don’t live in a big house by any means, so we’re just in this little hallway. He and I share a bathroom. 

He’s running all around in the hallway. He’s going to his room, I’m going to mine. As he runs across, he steps on my toe. Like, BAM! Really hard! And I go, “DUDE! Chill out! Slow down, homie!” 

Right, one of my problems my wife says I have is that I talk to my kids like their eighteen. Like I say “homie” and “chill out” and “shut your face.” She goes “You can’t tell a two-year-old to shut his face.” And I say jokingly, “I just did, you shut your face.” 

So, he steps on my toe! I go “Dude! Dude! Slow down, homie. You... You about broke my toe!” 

And he… he did not miss a beat. He stood up to me. He goes, “Dad! You about broke my eyes!” I was like ‘No he did not! He did not just do that!’ He’s a little mouthy kid.