Only A Joke

"I didn't mean it. It was only a joke..." I looked around the splatter painted room. "I-I didn't mean it. It was o-only a j-joke..."

My family, they didn't care about what I had to say. They wouldn't even look at me. Tears welled up in my eyes. Why wouldn't they look at me?! LOOK AT ME!

"I didn't mean it! It was only a joke!" I yelled. I yelled at them so hard my throat cracked and ached. Still, no one's eyes came to my direction.

My two older sisters were stretched out on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, not at me. My older brother was laying lazily on the couch, staring out the window, not at me. My mom was crouched down in the hall, as if she were looking for a contact she had dropped and my little brother was relaxing on the steps, staring at his shoes... NOT AT ME! They didn't even move to acknowledge my existence. WHY WON'T YOU MOVE?! WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME?!

I knelt by my oldest sister on the ground. I grabbed her face and looked into her eyes. But she seemed to look right past me. "You believe me, right? I was only kidding... only a joke." I got no response from her. No response from anyone. My sadness and worry quickly turned into anger. "Fine, bitch!" I pushed her and she couldn't help but roll away from me. She soon rolled onto her side, and the look she gave me made me even more pissed.

As if I had done something wrong.

As if she were scared of me.

As if I had caused this painful neglect upon myself.

The salt from tears dripping out of my eyes hurt worse than the look my sister forged on her face. JD, my older brother's, head tilted to the side as the scene played out in front of him. He had nothing to say about me calling our sister a bitch. "Pathetic." I spat. No response.

They were ignoring me, that's it. They wanted me to regret what I had done. The silent treatment to the extreme. I laughed mockingly. "Fine, be that way." I stood up and looked at the wall. The splatter painted wall. I reached out to touch the beautiful red splatters when I suddenly heard a soft "mew!"

I whipped my hand back to my side and spun around frantically to see the tiny black and grey cat behind me, sitting on the couch next to my brother. My older brother dislikes cats, so it's no surprise that he ignored it. The cat was covered in the red splatters, probably from rubbing up against the wall. My wall. A masterpiece.

It was only a joke after all.

The cat was only a joke.

My mother dislikes cats too, so putting it in her room was only a joke.

Throwing it on her was only a joke.

Her tripping and falling down the stairs, it was all only a fucking joke!

Luckily, she's still okay. She's still my mom. She still loves me. She still loves me.... I know she still loves me! She's just staying silent to show me that what I did wasn't okay. And I understand.... but I'm still mad. Still mad that she couldn't see the humor in it. Still mad that they would ignore me. Keep their eyes from me. Pretend I didn't even exist!

I picked up the kitten.

"Mew~"

"This is all your fault."

"It's all because of you."

"They're ignoring my existence because of you!"

I tightened my grip on the fucking cat.

"FUCK YOU!"

I threw the cat down on the ground and stomped on it. With one stomp, the cat screeched, and died.

"Payback." I huffed. I looked around, a sick smirk on my face. They have to be looking at me now. Even if it is in disgust. Dammit... dammit... FUCK THEM!!! "IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS THAT GODDAMN CAT!!!" I clung to the splatter-painted wall. It seemed to be the only thing that listened to me. The wonderful slippery feeling of it stained my arms, face, and shirt.

I swiped some off of my face and put it in my mouth. It didn't taste too badly, not too sure if it's toxic. Maybe if I killed myself, they would finally look at me. But after tasting that delightful substance, my anger had vanished, and finally turned into apathy. I picked up the knife that I had used to help me splatter paint the wall.

A beautiful crimson color.

My masterpiece.

I picked up the cat and slit its throat, watching the blood spurt from its neck and stain the wall.

That completed it, that completed my amazing artwork.

A fucking masterpiece.

And ya know what?

I didn't care.

I didn't care if it was a joke.

I didn't care if they ignore me.

I couldn't care less if they even looked at me.

And I didn't give one flying fuck if they don't move or talk to me

....... Even if they were dead.

What a beautiful work of art.